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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in dear_muse's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, March 8th, 2012
3:57 pm
Dear Odette: I hate you.

No. Really.

I hate you right now.

I did not give you permission to get up to these shenanagins. 

Really? You've decided to do this? He's not suitable. At all.

And you've decided you're going to be in love with him, and be helpful?

He's a crazy alien. Who eats people.  Including you.

The fact that you're a shapeshifter and can heal just about anything he does to you is not help.

Stop doing this. Really. Stop it.

The fact that I am sort of amused by the whole thing is irrelevant.

You're a wereswan ballerina. Go back to being giggly at attractive women.

-Your Mun
Sunday, January 8th, 2012
3:49 am
Dear Nate,

Oh yes I am and yes I can, and oh, I did. And you're going to LIKE it. I mean I haven't even said where I might be taking you or not taking you as the case may be. I have the user name I wanted and some time to shop around. Really, that's all I care about here.

Dear Carver,

See? You're enjoying it and having fun. I told you NSFW threads with your boss were gonna be awesome. Why don't you ever believe me, huh?

Dear Teen Anders,

Oh shit. Oh shit, shit shit. I actually didn't mean to dredge up trauma when I made you. I just thought I'd pick an interesting point from your canon and bring you in. I didn't mean to make you have to deal with repressed stuff and all of that. That said, I'm glad you're making friends and finding a job.

And I'm not sorry about making you a candy striper in the modern AU. The thought of you in the little apron is just too precious. Do they even have the aprons anymore? At my hospital, they don't, but you had to get it anyway. Because you're special. Have fun with that one, kid.


Well. YOU have had quite the week, haven't you? I'm pretty impressed actually. Thanks for being willing to try something new with me. I appreciate it.


Well, it's your fault your came on to Steve while you were drunk. Somehow he didn't back away and doesn't want to make this awkward. We all know what's going to develop eventually, even the two of you, but don't look at me like I caused any of this to happen. That's your affair, pal.


...Um...Hi? I'm not even asking anymore when it comes to new friends hanging out in my head, but you're kind of an anomaly. All the same, I think you're freaking hilarious so you get to stay.

And stuff.

I suppose I love you all, in my own way,

-Your Mun

Current Mood: amused
Monday, June 27th, 2011
1:24 pm
No, I am not going to delete all your icons and start over. For one thing, oh my God, that's insane. And for another, you've already had so many threads and commenting so much, getting rid of all those icons & just having the default one replace them... I cringe. I am literally cringing.

Please don't make me do that.
Thursday, May 19th, 2011
3:34 pm
Veronica, please stop getting Jiri into trouble. He can accomplish plenty of that on his own.
3:15 pm
This is why we can't have nice things
I realize that you're in my head. And I don't really mind that you have access to whatever portion of my consciousness that contains my almost encyclopedic knowledge of Broadway Musicals.

But oh... my wild, mad, passionate adorable crimson butler...

I DO mind that I now have you in my head singing the score to "GiGi." if this doesn't stop soon I'm going to sodomize you with your chainsaw. And don't tell me you're into that.

P.S. If someone tells you "Bite my ass," they're mad at you. It's not a suggestion.

Know what... never mind.
Monday, April 25th, 2011
11:29 am
To a certain noob who lives here now:

I've got this, and I've got your back. Just go with me on everything and don't stop to ask too many questions about what I'm doing or why. Not that I think they're answers you won't like, but it slows things down a fair bit if I have to explain everything all the time. Anyway, point is, you just need to relax and trust me, and I'll take care of everything. Actually, I'm pretty sure we should also get Hawke on this and we can talk to his writer about it later, but really. It's gonna be okay. Deep breaths.

Thursday, March 24th, 2011
4:38 pm
Dear Enjolras,

Oh my darling. Oh my GOODNESS. I am so so sorry for what has been done, what you could have had, and didn't know. You're not a statue after all. I think that one of those would have broken into a hell of a lot less pieces somehow. I wish that I could tell you it was going to be all right, but I can't do that. What I can do is be here, talk with you and try to teach you what I can about the world. I missed you but I'm sorry you had to come back to me like this. Do you accept my "silly sentiments" now?

My brave and fearless, and always selfless Apollo. I wish we could do something to help you now.

Dear Bones,

No actually, this is hilarious as all Hell. I'm enjoying the Civil War AU BEST OF ALL THINGS EVER. Hoop skirts and uniforms and cavalry and real old fashioned medicine and Pike telling you off for keeping a mistress who isn't actually your mistress and then bringing her to church is HILARIOUS. I will be dying laughing at you forever. Lots of Love.


No particular reason to write to you. I just love you!

Be GOOD all of you!


Current Mood: sad
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
9:12 pm
An Apology
For my character, Melody Ann Hikari Anson, who does not yet have an lj here. This is mostly copied/pasted from my DeviantArt journal, hence the mention of gallery folders.

Mel's middle name, "Ann", means "gracious" and "merciful". This seems really beautiful to me, considering all that she's gone through, Pokeworld version or Multiverse/TGP version. Ironically, a perfect song to befit her mood from a year ago was playing when I decided to make this entry.
I'm also trying to fix my gallery folders on DeviantArt and rearrange them. (sigh) I suppose I'll have to look back and come to terms with the imagination I had for five and more years, and how there was nothing wrong with it because I had fun. Really. I don't see why we have to be ashamed of all the old things and hastily scrap and rewrite a character. As long as you're having fun with it, and it's a fandom, it shouldn't really matter, right? It's not like it's going to get published anyways, or that you'll use it as a writing sample for college/work. So, there's no reason for us to be ashamed of such characters, particularly if we've dropped our "perfect" perceptions of them and ideas of them as our alter egos, and they have successfully evolved into their own character, separate from us, no matter how much we wanted to be them in the beginning.

This digression mostly comes about from a weakness of mine to have fallen prey to such a mindset of burning one's history. Wasn't I, just a few years ago, condoning the very same action vehemently? And yet, here I am, still afraid to full accept a change in a character I worked on for years.... Granted, I seriously did need to rewrite and create "separate" histories for her, chiefly in terms of the MMBN universe, Pokemon, and TGP, the latter of which would have mostly stayed the same.
Also, is it wrong if I want to use my earlier writing from the years of "perfection" as a way to determine and study how a person acts at that age? We seem such different persons from ten years ago compared to now, and yet I can still feel so much the same.
That said, I realize that unless it affects my own personal universe, and undoes a lot of my effort, as it did a few years ago, I have no place in complaining about this. It is my own fault for having such a weak will and ultimately deciding that I should be ashamed of the character I spent almost half of my life obsessing over. Her personality has separated from me from so much that I am the one that should be ashamed for not realizing this sooner.

For this, I'm truly, deeply, and very regretfully sorry that I had allowed myself to feel ashamed over you, Melody. I've caused you a lot of shit, some of it irreversible, and I cannot apologize enough for taking a year to get over the thought of "rewriting" you. It isn't "rewriting". It's just giving you an alternate history. You're still the intelligent, mildly pretty, wonderful friend and moral superior that I have enjoyed calling my "main" character and first original character. Forgive me for all this bullshit. I'll try not to let it affect me as much anymore, and I'll try to remember that what you are now is not and has not been the same as when I first made you. I love you a lot, and I hope you'll continue to be my primary character for many years to come, however much you may wish a vacation from me.

Current Mood: pensive
Friday, January 7th, 2011
3:37 am
Now would be a good time to cooperate with me, as there are other muses waiting for you right there. Okay? Okay? Sitting there and avoiding me does not solve the problem. It only makes you more immature than you already consider yourself to be, get it? What my problem with you not cooperating is that IF you get kicked out for failing the activity checks, you WILL keep whinging IN MY HEAD. ALL THE DAMN TIME. DO YOU GET HOW ANNOYING THAT IS?

Thank you.

And no, really, you will do this even if I have to drag you out kicking and screaming. You were the one who wanted to play the game, now put your big boy pants on and work hard at flirting better. Jesus. This will not work if you get intimidated by every sentence, muse. No, really, it wont. The other muses? They stepped back so I could focus on you, and now you're too scared to play. Great.

Other muse,
I KNOW you're pissed. I'm not exactly happy with the situation either, but roleplay involves compromises. I've TOLD you this before letting you out. I specifically told you not to expect more than Inta!love and PWP!sex in the rp. Don't lash out on me. It's disappointing, I get that, but don't you think holding that other muse hostage is a good idea? There's an rp I've want to do and I can't do that if you're holding your damn wand-thing against his neck, okay? You ARE NOT HELPING. Well, I guess you'll just have to do your best to refuse his advances. There's a muse in the back somewhere who played with another muse like him. Just do the opposite of what he did minus getting promiscuous and you'd be safe. Also, mentally dissing him for being OOC is not good. Etiquette, you need it.
Thursday, December 30th, 2010
7:24 am

Дорогой Иван (ivan_x_toris),

С Днём Рождения, любовь моя.

Я так тебя люблю.

С любовью, твой mun
Tuesday, December 21st, 2010
4:29 am
Dear A

I just thought that I would let you know that I'm sorry that your lover isn't around. I had no idea that you would fall like you did, and I can't imagine getting that attached to someone and having them suddenly disappear, especially in the midst of all of the crap that went down.

It's hard playing you when you're so down, and I can't promise you that she'll be back. Real life trumps RP after all but I can tell you that, regardless, things will get better. Pushing people away isn't the answer, you know? They're just trying to help, not take away what the both of you had. Just open up a little? You're still my favorite pup, but you're so volatile that half of the time I don't know where to take you.

You were making such progress, sweetie. You can do it, even if you have to do it without her.


Tuesday, November 16th, 2010
12:09 am
The more research I do on you, the more I see how alike we are (minus the fact that you're male and sorta have demon blood... and my mom is still alive). But our personalities are similar, our interests are alike (I guessed you were studying criminal justice way before it was actually said), you owned a golden retriever! etc. Our birthdays are even oddly similar. (Me: May 1, 1984. - You: May 2, 1983.)

It's kinda cool, it's kinda creepy, but It's also a little sad that I'm obsessing over it so much. I mean, you're a fictional character; some people would call it "pathetic" that I relate so closely to someone who doesn't exist, right?

Wednesday, August 25th, 2010
3:31 am
Dear Brenna,


I understand that you have the whole excuse there but do you not think you could maybe ease up a little bit.

By the way, I do NOT FUCKING APPROVE of you fucking the man who is your surrogate for your dead rapist brother. I understand it's normal to to be drawn to people like the ones who have hurt you, but this is going a little far. He strangled someone with his bare hands and painted stigmatas on you because you were bored. And you're utterly convinced he will never hurt you. And you don't see how this is a little...nervewracking for me. NOT TO MENTION THIS IS STATUTORY RAPE IN THIS STATE YOU ARE SIXTEEN AND HE IS TWENTY-TWO.

And stop saying you're sexually precocious. It's a gigantic fucking understatement and kinda creepy coming from you.

Love (somehow),
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010
11:00 pm
 Okay, you guys. Look: I can't just start posting all the random drabbles and oneshots about you all that I've written. Nobody will understand what the hell I'm talking about. There has to be a story.

And listen Garrett/Falcon. Just because I finally gave you a name, doesn't mean that you get automatic privileges. Bonemaker was here first, so he's going to get his story first. I still have a lot of development I have to do on you anyhow.

I swear to god, Glory, if you don't stop telling me to get you a better armored costume, I'm going to put you in a bikini like Ultimate Valkyrie's or that terrible costume Tom Defalco gave Sue Storm, got it? You're invulnerable, you shouldn't have to worry about that anyway.
Sunday, July 18th, 2010
3:04 am
Hey muse.

I know, you're itching to get out and make the universe know of your presence. I know you enjoy laughing at the misfortune of others, and that kid's reaction to your laser was pretty funny. But you are driving me batshit crazy and it's only been two days.

You are loud. Louder than any muse I've had in the past.

And stop screeching at the other muses. They may not take any drastic measures to shut you up, but it doesn't mean they won't do it eventually. And I don't want that kind of fight going on in the middle of my head.

For the love of all that is holy, please chill the fuck out.


Oh god where is the volume control on you?
Thursday, July 8th, 2010
3:35 am
RP woes at sumabura_gakuen
You got yourself into this situation, you can get yourself out. Besides, you should be used to things not turning out as you planned. It's in your source that you get your ass kicked by the things you dismissed as useless, and frankly you should be glad they didn't do to you what they did to J on the show.

Yes I know two of them are at the school. Yes I know Uxie is a little bastard. Toughen up. You're not about to create a new chain and you know it.

Besides, what would Voile say? You can't play that "I don't have emotions" card with her because she KNOWS you're lying.

In short, STFU and take your consequences like an adult.
11:25 am
You two. Yes, you, trying to look all cute and innocent. Gary Jones and Henry Devlin - you both should know better than to misbehave.

My head is full of muses. I know you two are new and shiny and... Making out again... But please, I need to let a few of the others out to play for a little while. Then I promise you an extensive run at some prompts, maybe a multi-chaptered fic if you're good.

And good god. Come up for air sometime.

Moderate amounts of love, an inspirationless writer with difficult muses.

Secondly, you. You're new. When did you appear? There's a reason vampires aren't allowed in my head, Jean-Claude, mainly because they're as bad as the two aforementioned muses at distracting me from what I should be writing. Be good and you can stay. Maybe.

Current Mood: aggravated
Friday, June 25th, 2010
4:24 pm
Calm down everyone
Okay guys...guys. I know. I know you want to rp with people. I know this.

But you have to understand I'm doing the best I can. If people don't want to come they aren't gonna. And lets face it; It's in my nature to be....well not that noticeable lets just say.
But I'm not giving up so could you all please be patient with me? Please and Thank you.

Current Mood: frustrated
Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
7:36 pm
Saturday, May 8th, 2010
9:04 am
It's been a year
Dear Bones,

Like I said in the title, really. A year ago today, you captured my attention and affections and decided you were moving in right the hell away. Well, fair enough. You never were a man to wait around or tiptoe were you? And so it has been one hell of a year of Spock arguments, frustration with Jim, covering up for Jim, fucking Spock, fucking Spock and Jim, fucking other people, arguing with Christine and Geoff, snarking the hell out of people, making friends with House, screwing around with everybody else, nursing me through that flu from hell and my gulbladder removal and every subsequent medical crisis that resulted from that little nightmare, helping to herd Jim around when we need to, being generally amazing and teaching me to stand up for myself.

I love you even though I don't say it like ever, you giant, bitchy pain in my ass, and yeah, someday you WILL be as awesome as your counterpart featured in my icon. Thanks!
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